Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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