party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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