im having a threesome with these popsicles
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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