worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
