HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
