Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
