Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
