Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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