on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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