Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
accomplished twins. life is a go
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
how drunk are you?
Several
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
