I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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