you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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