I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
