yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
