when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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