So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
