I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
