end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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