What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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