i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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