I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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