Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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