4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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