I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize