I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
