New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
