Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
