So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
