I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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