Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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