never play flip cup with pint glasses
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
