I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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