Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
