Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
