My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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