I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
