We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
