Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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