we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize