i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
