I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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