My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
