I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
