Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
