She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
