Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize