I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
