My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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