Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
