my soul wont recognize me after tonight
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
