so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Sext me about skeletons
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
