i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize