then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
