If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
