just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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