Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
