You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
