Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
