ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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