My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
